How to balance the relationship between love and strictness in family education in Dalian?

Dalian family education is a long-term and complex project that requires parents' patience, wisdom, and love. Through scientific and reasonable family education, parents can help their children develop sound personalities, good habits, and positive attitudes, laying a solid foundation for their future. Every parent should attach great importance to family education and strive to become a guide on their child's growth path.

Family education also helps children learn how to get along with others and find their place in society. Parents teach their children how to express their emotions, resolve conflicts, and collaborate with others through daily interactions. These abilities are crucial for children's future social adaptation.

How to balance the relationship between love and strictness in family education in Dalian?

1、 Clarify the essence of "love" and "strictness"

1. Love is not unconditional indulgence

Core: Love is unconditional acceptance and support (such as "No matter how many points you score, Mom and Dad love you"), but accepting behavior does not mean acknowledging mistakes (such as "But lying needs to be corrected").

Misconception warning: Using material compensation instead of companionship (such as "buying toys means loving you"), compromising unreasonable demands of children (such as "buying candy when crying"), can confuse the concepts of "love" and "satisfying desires".

2. Strictness is not a lack of emotions

Core: Strictness is the adherence to rules, conveying the expectation of "I believe you can do better" (such as "It is the responsibility of students to complete homework before playing games").

Misconception warning: Using yelling and verbal abuse to express harshness (such as "If you cry again, I won't let you go") will make children bind "rules" with "fear" instead of understanding the meaning of the rules.

2、 The key principle of balance: gentle yet firm

1. Emotional "gentleness": Establishing a secure foundation of love

Warm expression of body language:

Hug your child every day and say 'Mom loves you';

Listening to the child's feelings: "I had an argument with a friend today, must I be very sad

Accept emotions and guide behavior:

When a child gets angry: "I know you're angry (accepting emotions), but you can use language to tell me that throwing toys is wrong (guiding behavior)

Avoid negative feelings: "Why cry over such a small matter!" This can make children suppress their true emotions.

2. "Firm" in terms of rules: hold the bottom line and not compromise

Advance agreement to reduce conflicts:

Using "family meetings" to jointly establish rules (such as "no more than 1 hour of TV watching per day" and "organizing your own backpack"), allowing children to participate in discussions and increase their sense of identification;

Example: Negotiating with the child: "It's okay to play games on the weekend, but we agreed to finish homework in the morning and play for an hour in the afternoon, okay

Mild consequences of violating rules:

If a child procrastinates watching TV while doing homework, calmly remind them: "We agreed to do homework first, but now we need to turn off the TV and finish before playing

Avoid threats ("I'll hit you like this again") or nagging ("I've said it before..."), and use actions instead of words to pressure.

3、 Scenario specific practice: Balance techniques in different situations

1. Daily interaction: love as the main focus, rules as a supplement

Nourish curiosity with love: Support children to explore (such as dismantling old toys), even if they mess up the room, affirm interest first: "Are you studying how gears rotate? Great! Let's tidy up together after playing

Rules permeate the details: during meals, it is required to "not waste food", but children are allowed to decide how much to eat independently (when serving food, it is said: "If you can't finish eating, you can serve a little less, but if you serve, you should try to finish as much as possible").

2. Moment of Error: Strictness comes first, love comes later

Step 1: Resolutely point out the problem (sternly):

You just snatched my sister's toy, which will make her very sad. She must apologize

Step 2: Guide problem-solving (love):

Let's find a way together, how can we make your sister forgive you? Do you want to play with this toy with her

Key logic: First, make the child aware of their mistake, and then use love to support them in making up for it, avoiding "only criticizing without guiding" or "only comforting without correcting".

3. Conflict outbreak: deal with emotions first, then solve problems

When a child cries and rolls:

Gently but firmly said, "Mom knows you really want this toy (empathetic emotion), but we agreed not to buy it today. If you continue to cry, we need to leave the mall first (clear rules)

If the child continues to make noise, calmly leave the scene without compromise or insults, and wait for their emotions to calm down before communicating: "Can you tell me why you want it so much now

The family atmosphere has a profound impact on children's mental health. A family environment full of love, respect, and understanding can make children feel a sense of security and belonging, thus forming a positive and optimistic attitude. On the contrary, if the family is filled with arguments, apathy, or excessive control, children may develop psychological problems such as anxiety and inferiority.

The family is the main place where children's values are formed. Parents subtly convey their views on right and wrong, morality, and life to their children through their words and actions in daily life. For example, if parents value honesty and trustworthiness, their children will also learn to be honest; If parents respect others, children will also learn tolerance and empathy. Family education has a profound impact on shaping children's values, and may even influence their future career choices and attitudes towards life.